After coming home from being away for several months, everything felt new, seemed strange, surreal. But only briefly, and then things realigned themselves and it’s as if I never left. After my third trip back from India, the only way I could convince myself that I was ever there was by frequenting the files on my computer that held the photos I had taken. Because it all felt like a dream. India is like being in a dream state, likely because it is fascinating beyond imagination. The fascination, some of it unbelievable, I find both alluring and appalling.
The temples, the artistry of them, are extraordinary. I’ve visited the Taj Mahal four times and still, I cannot get over it. But the temple I am really captivated by is quite different than the Taj, with few visitors, little attention paid to it. The 64-Yogini Hirapur Temple in Orissa. It’s ancient mystery is beguiling. The way it opens to the sky, 64 female figures encircling the inner sanctum of the stone shrine. Visiting the temple was the highlight of my journey, my primary reason for returning to India. My only regret is not having spent more time in the temple, to imbibe in the power of the yoginis.
India has many Goddesses of worship. I am particularly fond of Parvati, representative of the benevolent aspect of the Goddess. Mother of Ganesh, Wife of Shiva, Parvati is the Mother Goddess. In India, the Goddess or Devi represents Shakti, the divine, creative power of the universe.
On my computer I have a burgeoning file of online articles on the topics of female feoticide, female infanticide, and dowry murders happening in India. A country that worships the Goddess is killing it’s women. It’s not a secret, it makes the news on a daily basis: Do Not Kill A Female Child implores Renuka Chowdhury, Union Minister of State for Women and Child Development, Stray dogs eat thrown away infant girl, 26-year-old kills self over dowry, Man films wife in bed to extract dowry, Indians abort 900,000 girl foetuses a year. These are just a few of the stories. Sensational as the titles may seem, it’s become a mainstream way of life in India.
Over the course of the next several weeks I’ll post some of these articles along with personal thoughts, and stories that I gathered on my travels. Though the issue of the genocide of Indian women (femicide) is no secret, it is heavily veiled and too seldom discussed. For the sake of India’s Daughters and for the liberation of women everywhere, it is time we started talking about it and working towards it’s eradication.
Yes, its very sad that such things are happening in the world but I think its pretty rare and in modern cities women are not facing any of these problems, at least not the majority of them.
BubbleOnFire — It’s in the modern cities where the problems are most prevalent. Dowry demands are becoming higher as the lust for consumer goods increases. Those with wealth want to hold onto it, thus view daughters as a liability.
What follows is an excerpt from an article on indiatogether.org, by Kalpana Sharma, independent journalist, columnist and media consultant. Her article was written in Mar. ‘06. i think that things have changed with re to what she says about there being lack of news on dowry-related incidences, since i read about it in the news on a daily basis. – - –
Why dowry will not die
Given the lack of any news about dowry deaths, dowry violence or dowry demands — barring the occasional story of a brave girl who refused to give in — one would have thought that the problem had disappeared.
Taking new forms
We know for a fact that it has not. Far from it. In fact, it has become far more entrenched and taken new forms. The trouble with Mr. Patil’s plan is that he is still working on the premise that all dowry giving and taking is done through the more obvious forms of “gifts” — jewellery, clothes, furniture, white goods, vehicles and homes. So, he proposes that alongside the compulsory registration of marriages, all gifts given to the bride should also be registered at the local police station. He believes that local committees headed by women sarpanches or women heading self-help groups in villages will act as “watchdogs” and ensure that the police is alert and does register such gifts.
Even if this works in some rural areas, the majority of dowry-related cases occur in middle class areas of our big and small cities. Even in the late 1970s, when the first instances of women being tortured and killed for dowry came to light, the problem was located in the middle class in north India. The economy then was far more restricted, bank finance for consumables was not available and the only way you could own something was if you had the ready money to pay for it. For families with boys, the best route to obtaining such capital goods was to demand a large dowry.
Since then, a great deal has changed in India. With the growth in the consumer economy, easy finance allows even salaried individuals to own things their parents could never have dreamed of possessing. At the same time, dowry demands have not diminished. The phenomenon has spread far beyond north India and has infected practically all communities.
For the full story:
http://www.indiatogether.org/2006/mar/ksh-marriage.htm
Hey Barbara,
I just made a post about the issue of female foeticide on my blog. Take a look:
http://democrazie.org/2008/06/05/the-vicious-circle-of-female-foeticide/
Best wishes.
It is more of a class problem than an ‘Indian’ problem. In the lower and lower middle classes where people have very little means, often who have just risen above from poverty, such demands are common. However, This does not indicate that the position of women itself is subordinate in society. Some people are gripped in the obsession of a male heir. But most Indians are progressive in their attitude, especially in the cities, where having two girls is a very common trend. In India service economy which dominates the western and southern parts of India and spreading fast to other areas, it doesn’t make sense to desire a male child, not for economic reasons anyway, though still the problem might manifest in some pockets in the agricultural states of the north.
Openmind — i response to your comment i am quoting from a piece from ‘DNA India’ Dowry scourge http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1137310 to address your comments:
You said:
In the lower and lower middle classes where people have very little means, often who have just risen above from poverty, such demands are common.
The news that dowry demands are growing in the new middle classes reinforces the fact that neither money nor education leads to an automatic rejection of barbaric or obscurantist practices.
The focus on dowry prevention so far has been in the rural areas and the lower classes. But it appears as if that needs to shift to the middle class.
You said:
However, This does not indicate that the position of women itself is subordinate in society.
Sociologists have stressed on the new affluent lifestyles and the desire for easy money as the main reasons for dowry demands. However, dowry harassment is just one more aspect of the disturbing attitude towards women in some aspects of our new society.
Dowry deaths or suicides are the other side of the female foeticide coin. Women are still seen either as intolerable burdens or cash-cows, good enough only for the money that they can give to the family they marry into.
That this should happen in a country with 9 per cent growth, where more and more women are entering the work force, where the government is trying to encourage education of the girl child is even more appalling.
It seems that our enormous progress over the last few years has not opened our minds to the simple truth that killing females because their only crime is to be female is unacceptable and condemnable.
Sonological Society of India is organising a Dharna/Protest against female foeticide and the corrupt officials who are unable to prevent this on 1 july 2008 at the Directorate of Family Welfare office, Bhagwan Mahaveer Hospital, Pitampura, Delhi. For more information send an e-mail to sonolgical society of india at ssoi2008@yahoo.com or scrap me, Secretary, SSOI.
Thank you Sonal, for bringing this to our attention. I hope it gets a lot of much needed attention. Let us know how the turnout is.
Hi,
Good written. But can’t this be checked. If young generation come forward it will.In some parts of the state it is happening due to political, social, economic and sometimes under pressure. Above all if we the women community become conscious the day is not far when we will see the sun rise. I feel in some way or the other we “women” are somewhere responsible for this as we are not conscious of our community.
Meme – thank you for your comments and insights. The problem is largely a societal one, but i also agree that women are partly responsible by allowing it. As women everywhere and anywhere in the world we need to Rise up and Speak out against the abuse that we swallow every day. Only then will these kinds of problems be eradicated. Only then will we be free.
the problem nd fault is not much of a women`s. as a woman who is trying to revolt against the menace, i am saying that our authorities and judiciary still have a patrichial mindset. when i went to complaint to the appropriate authority against the sex dtermination done when i was pregnant, i was told -”I should not do anything in the spirit of youth, which I `ll repent later. I was also told that I should try to reconcile with my husband, and the wish for a son was not something I could not fulfil, as I could always get pregnant again.
I was also asked the benefit I’ll be getting if the ultrasound machine is sealed, as the ultrasound machine was a very useful tool in the diagnostics, and someone could have to suffer for the eventuality of the ultrasound machine being sealed.
Lastly I was advised to inform the office, in case of resettlement with my husband, so that the doctors are not troubled. ”
the attitute of various police officials and social activists working on the issue has been -” “Either withdraw your case against your in laws or you and daughters will be killed”-an inspector in crime against woman cell.
Why have you come to file complaint against your in laws to women cell, we do not have any powers, go to the local police station.- again when I went to crime against women cell to file a complaint
Go to the women cell and file your complaint ,we do not take action on complaints where family matters are concerned- local police station when I was turned out at midnight by my husband.
Why do you want to file a legal case against your husband and in laws? It will only harass you more, go, take some money from them and finish the case. It is a long battle in the courts and you’ll not get any justice only harassment
So what if your husband does not like the statements made by you, you can change your statements (i.e. the statements made by me in my complaints). If he says he did not turn you out, say it that yes he did not
If he says he does not like your visiting your parents so what you can live without visiting them
When I tried to contact some social activists who were campaigning against the issue the comments I got from them were
So how does your sister look like? Is she attractive?
This is all a victim psychology and nothing else? We can not take your case, because tomorrow you’ll reunite with your husband and than we’ll be left in a lurch.
Your sister is a radiologist. Perhaps she is doing the sex determination test herself and killing babies, and you want us to help you
You have already written to Prime Minister and better you take help from him only, please do not contact us. ”
a woman complaining against the system is just seen as a troublemaker, and the authoritites treat you a criminal, and as someone who is a troublemaker rather than a sufferer.
if a woman dares to complain against her in laws it is looked upon as misuse of 498 . it is only if the woman is killed or she commits suicide it is rcognized that she may be really suffering.